My first week taking low-dose testosterone (AndroForte 5mg)

In my first week taking T the only real side effect was an obsession with coming up with silly names. Morning t, roids, chap stick, dude glue, creaming my genes – all of these are inadequate. Rubbing white goo into your tum to transform yourself into a hot guy just isn’t funny I guess.

dude tube

I’m taking AndroForte 5, a cream that comes with a syringe applicator. It’s the kind of syringe that you surprise cats with when they need to take medicine. The goo itself is pretty runny, a little thinner than the consistency of tomato sauce. I apply it to my chest so there’s plenty of fabric between myself and other people. I splurt it on from the syringe and halfheartedly rub it for a few seconds. It absorbs after a minute or so.

Applying it is a bit of a hassle. Drawing the cream from the tube isn’t perfect and there’s always air bubbles, so it’s actually really hard to tell the amount. You kind of have to draw the cream in and out a bit to get rid of the air bubbles. The syringe itself is pretty hard to clean, and the testosterone leaves a lot of residue. Being opaque with residue means it’s hard to see how much is in the syringe. Running hot water through it doesn’t work, and I don’t have a pipe cleaner. The best way I’ve found to get it clean is to get a glass of hot soapy water and suck it in and out of the syringe for about a minute.

Overall the whole process takes about five minutes.

Residue makes the syringe opaque, and hard to measure the next amount, so I have to clean it every day, which is annoying.

What hasn’t happened

All my hair hasn’t fallen out. My clit hasn’t burst through my pants – it hasn’t changed at all actually. My libido is chugging along at its usual pace. My voice is as squeaky as it ever was. My skin is still the same lovely beige sandpaper. Can’t say I’m more energetic or emotional either. I haven’t received a pay rise.

What has happened

My heart started beating. I could hear every thump, and for a few days I could feel my blood flowing in and out of my skin, like a hot fast tide. I had an upset stomach, but that might have been stress from starting a new job. Perhaps I’m very slightly more confident, but that could be because my gender annihilation plans are coming along nicely, or the chunky paycheck I just got. Maybe I’m slightly dizzier, but that could be because I haven’t been eating much. There’s really not a lot to report this week.

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